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Faulking Opinions - Jan 5, 2006 - Printable Version
- Are We the Real Thing?
by Robin Buckallew
Well, now the right-wing pundits have gone too far. I think I've had enough. It all began last night in a rare moment of madness as I watched Tucker Carlson. Well, actually, it wasn't a deliberate moment of madness. It simply happened to be half-time of the current offering in the seemingly endless string of indistinguishable bowl games that for some inexplicable reason now all bear the names of consumer products that have nothing to do with football. Anyway, I digress. To get back to Tucker Carlson. So, what am I fed up about? Is it that I'm tired of being accused of hating my country by smug, self-important blowhards who think patriotism is simply an act of blindly following the leading lemming over the cliff? No. Well, actually I am, but I'm sort of used to that, so it was nothing new to push me over the edge.
Is it that I'm sick and tired of being referred to as a "lifestyle liberal" by people who could easily be defined as "lifestyle conservatives" based on their overwhelming desire to legislate what we read, what we watch and listen to, and even who we love? No. Well, actually I am, but I'm sort of used to that, too.
No, this was something just a little different. This cut to the very heart and soul of the country. This was a slap in the face to every American that has ever stood proudly and saluted their flag, or sang their national anthem. This was a slap in the face to all our scholars of history and all our young students struggling to learn the details about the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution. This was indeed a slap in the face to anyone who has a heart that yearns for liberty and a soul that cries out for freedom. Tucker Carlson, you should be ashamed. You are no American.
The issue was simple. It seems the University of Michigan has decided to ban all Coca-Cola products from their campus in response to student distress at the undemocratic practices the company engages in while doing business in Colombia. It seems Tucker is opposed to this action. He feels it is an affront, and way out of line that these students would utilize such a free-market approach to confront a company they feel has unsavory policies. His suggestion? Go to the government, and urge them to take action. So, is this what is distressing me? To discover that a free-market fundamentalist, a believer in small government not interfering in corporate business, is actually a hypocrite? No, I already knew that.
The real problem arose when Tucker addressed himself to the deeper meaning behind the issue at hand. It seems that to challenge Coca-Cola is to challenge the country itself, to demonstrate your hatred of America. After all, according to this reservoir of wisdom, Coca-Cola IS America. It is what America is all about. It is, as he described it, the "quintessential American company". When other people around the world think about America, they think about Coca-Cola. We are defined, as a country, by Coca-Cola. That is what I am upset about.
Somehow, in all the years I have been an American (and I've never been anything else), I always believed that this country stood for just a little bit more than that. I believed in freedom and liberty. I believed that my country had some goodness and some human kindness at its base. I believed that our founders had a noble goal in mind when they formed this country, no matter how tarnished that goal might become at times. Now I find out that the sole meaning of America is - Coca-Cola. Tucker, Coca-Cola is a soft drink. It is sugar and water, with a little caffeine thrown in to give it just a bit of a kick. It is full of empty calories, and provides no nutritional value to the diet whatsoever. It has no substance, no real meaning at all. It cannot sustain life, it cannot provide well being.
IT IS A SOFT DRINK!
It is not the real thing at all, in fact it is at best a pale imitation of reality, an illusion of something it is not. We all drink it, we all believe in it, but it is nothing. In addition, it is produced and bottled by a company that uses all sorts of strong arm tactics and plays footsie with brutal regimes to ensure that it continues to operate at a level of profit that can only be termed obscene. So, America is empty, meaningless and obscene. You said it, Tucker, I didn't. So, who hates America? I was searching for America, and you gave me Coke.
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