Faulking Around - Jul 10, 2006 - Printable Version - Elvis Parsley - "Thank you very much" by Mark Faulk Elvis was, as they say, “connected.” His favorite website was www.hamsterdance.com where rows of animated dancing hamsters sang songs in high-pitched voices, with titles like “Birthday Dance,” “Graduation Dance,” and “Holiday Dance.” Never mind that the hamster voices sounded suspiciously like Alvin and the Chipmonks, or that Elvis himself was a guinea pig. He would climb halfway out of his carry-around bed and nose up against the computer, watching and listening intently. His full name was Elvis Parsley, his first name was Elvis because he had a white “cowlick” on top of his brown and black head that resembled an Elvis Presley pompadour, and his last name was added because he had an insatiable appetite for parsley. He was a creature of habit – half a carrot first thing in the morning, which he had no qualms about squeaking loudly for if breakfast was late, and then, an hour later, his beloved parsley. Mmmmmm….parsley. We got him for our daughter Kelsey when she was nine years old, and he was a great pet, loving, kind, and sweet-tempered. Our cats, first Rosey, and then Lucy and Sky, seemed a little bit apprehensive at first, but quickly adjusted, and in fact, seemed to find comfort in sleeping on top of Elvis’s cage, which was luckily a sturdy wood-framed and rabbit wire home that I built just for him. I also built him a little wooden house to climb into and on top of, at first so tall that I cut it down so he could make the leap onto the roof and perch there surveying the room, and later, after he grew fat and happy, so small that I had to cut the doors larger and add legs so he could still squeeze his carrot and parsley fed frame inside and take guinea pig naps. He started out in Kelsey’s room, and she would push him around in one of those little plastic strollers converted to accommodate a guinea pig named Elvis, and eventually moved to the living room, so he could be where the action was. He squeaked whenever anyone petted his head, he squeaked when he was hungry, he squeaked whenever he ran out of hay or food, and sometimes, he squeaked just because he could. Elvis Parsley passed away today, at the old age of almost eight. He, like most beloved pets, became a little furry family member, something that just always seems to be there and to have always been there. He gave us comfort and made us smile, and when he passed away, we cried, not out of sadness, because he lived a long and full life, and supported the parsley industry single-handedly, but because he was loved, and just because we could. Elvis Parsley, rest in peace. You will be missed. Elvis on the computer. The Guinea Pig King…"Thank you very much"
Voice your opinion on our message board (you don't have to sign up to post). Faulking Around Archives: Coming Out (Mark Faulk, Mar 20, 2004) It's A Sick, Sick, Sick, Sick World (Mark Faulk, June 1, 2004) Work Hard (And Other Observations of The Obvious) (Mark Faulk, Jun 27, 2004) Paging Dr. Tharp (Dr. Russell Tharp, Esquire, Aug 7, 2004) "Beating the Bushes" or "Do I Feel a Draft?" (Mark Faulk, Sep 17, 2004) Running on Empty (Mark Faulk, Sep 24, 2004) "Media Bias?" or "All the News That's Fit to Print" (Mark Faulk, Sep 25, 2004) "The Secret Vonnegut Society" or "Subversion as an Art Form" (Mark Faulk, Sep 27, 2004) FBI Response To Internet Scams: Don't Open Them (Mark Faulk, Oct 6, 2004) Demise of the Writer (Mark Faulk, Oct 17, 2004) President Bush's Second Term: The First Hundred Days (Mark Faulk, April 30, 2005) In the Realm of Impossible Things..... (Russell Tharp, Nov 7, 2004) How to Talk to a Liberal (if you must) (Sean Faulk, Dec 3, 2004) Three Simple Words (Mark Faulk, Dec 18, 2004) Wishing You the Bluest Sky (Mark Faulk, Jan 1, 2005) Oooooh, Look at the Pretty Girl! (Mark Faulk, Jan 8, 2005) An Open Letter to the Red States (Robin Buckallew, Jan 18, 2005) Beauty From the Inside Out (Russell Tharp, Feb 13, 2005) The Land Where Time (Almost) Stood Still (Mark Faulk, Feb 22, 2005) Fear and Loathing in the 21st Century (Mark Faulk, Feb 26, 2005) Give Peace Rallies a Chance (Russell Tharp, Mar 22, 2005) The Flogging of America (Mark Faulk, Mar 30, 2005) Stalking the Wild Beast (Russell Tharp, Apr 12, 2005) Yesterday I was making fun of Republicans....now I are one (Mark Faulk, Apr 20, 2005) American Idol Rigged? Who Cares? (Mark Faulk, Apr 29, 2005) An Editor's Confession: Ken, I love you (Mark Faulk, May 13, 2005) Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.....I watched American Idol (Mark Faulk, May 25, 2005) Winning the War on Drugs.....One Cancer Patient at a Time (Mark Faulk, Jun 6, 2005) Dateline Stockgate Expose': "Could Air Any Time" (Mark Faulk, Jun 20, 2005) The Blanket...... (Russell Tharp, Jun 29, 2005) The News (Down the Middle, Jul 16, 2005) Is Faulking Truth Editor "Closet Sexist"? (Ima Feminist, Aug 9, 2005) Robertson and Chavez Reportedly Seen at Trendy Nightclub (Mark Faulk, Aug 24, 2005) The Plastic President (Mark Faulk, Sep 3, 2005) Crop Circles and Magic Beer Cans (Mark Faulk, Oct 4, 2005) Two Lilies (Russell Tharp, Oct 17, 2005) The Enemy in Our Living Room (Mark Faulk, Nov 22, 2005) In His Own Write (John Lennon, Dec 7, 2005) Christmas Combat (Down The Middle, Dec 17, 2005) Let's Teach the Controversy (Robin Buckallew, Dec 31, 2005) Woman is the Nigger of the World (Mark Faulk, Mar 14, 2006) Our Elected Officials isn't Learning (Mark Faulk, Apr 28, 2006) Welcome to Our Shangri-la (Mark Faulk, May 6, 2006) It is a very mixed blessing to be brought back from the dead. (Mark Faulk, Jun 5, 2006) A MySpace Moment: "The Defense of Marriage Act" (Mark Faulk, Jun 7, 2006) And if you believe in Freedom... (Mark Faulk, Jul 4, 2006) Elvis Parsley - "Thank you very much" (Mark Faulk, Jul 10, 2006) Which one are you? (Mark Faulk, Aug 2, 2006) Falling Upward.... (Mark Faulk, Nov 12, 2006) Two hearts beating as one (Mark Faulk, Jan 4, 2007) My Story (Darren Saunders, April 2, 2007 ) Aranda in Final 20 of Lollapalooza Last Band Standing 2007 (Mark Faulk, Jul 9, 2007) John McCain: The Armageddon President (Mark Faulk, Jun 5, 2008) It's your money, you paid for it!!! (Mark Faulk, Nov 3, 2008) |
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