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Faulking Around - Aug 9, 2005 - Printable Version
- Is Faulking Truth Editor "Closet Sexist"?
by Ima Feminist
In the top of the news today, internet mogul Mark Faulk, editor of the Faulking Truth, is suspected of being a closet sexist. This accusation comes from his home town of Oklahoma City, where a group of rabid feminazis billing themselves the "Double X Club" accuse him of deliberately withholding a feminist article written over a month ago by the Faulking Truth's only female columnist, Robin Buckallew. The leader of this group has stated that Faulk is the most dangerous kind of sexist, being the sort that makes fakes solidarity in order to undermine the women from the inside. Faulk was not available for comment, having departed on a family trip to Alaska just moments before the breaking news. Fellow male supremacists are not so complacent, however, suspecting that the erstwhile unsuspected sexist has met with foul play at the hands of those unloved and unlovable wanna-be males, the Double X Club. It has been rumored that the trip to Alaska is merely a cover for a vile kidnapping, orchestrated and engineered by the foaming at the mouth feminazis, assisted by Faulk's own beloved daughter, Kelsey Renee, who has been brainwashed by the ferocious females, and has her father bound and ready to hand over to the ugly mob. It is rumored that Kelsey Renee has had a habit in the past of impersonating her father online, and that she has been handling all correspondence and contacts for the past week, while her father lies helpless, awaiting his fate.
Meanwhile, a group of noble male supremacists from Waco Texas, led by Jerry "Bubba" Bruiser, is heading north of the border in an effort to rescue their comrade in arms. "It's a frightening mission, but someone's gotta do it" said Bubba when contacted by this reporter. "I mean, not only venturing north of the Red River into alien territory, but also facing a group of crazy women! Why, they're liable to break out crying at the slightest threat. It's enough to make any brave man break down and beg for mercy. We're getting our toughest soldiers ready now".
Is Mark Faulk the victim of a vile kidnapping scheme? Is he a closet sexist, or is he being unfairly accused by a group of women who seem to think some silly, sentimental twaddle matters enough to publish in a serious publication? This reporter hopes against hope that Mr. Faulk has not met with some dire fate, and that all will be well with him and his family. As for being a closet sexist, well, we all forget silly things from time to time. I'd like to say, lighten up already, OK?
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