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Faulking Around - Dec 18, 2004 - Printable Version
- Three Simple Words
by Mark Faulk
For years, the Merchants of Materialism have worked diligently to convince us that the number of gifts we give or receive on Christmas (or Valentine's Day, or birthdays, or Mother's Day, or anniversaries, or any of the plethora of gift-driven holidays, real or manufactured) is in direct proportion to the love that we feel for that person. And it's true, but not in the way they claim that it is. In reality, the opposite is true. There was a time that we gave and received gifts as a way to show how much we cared for and loved someone. It was a "token of our appreciation" for that person. Remember that quaint little phrase "It's the thought that counts"? There was a time when it was more than a veiled insult directed at the giver of a "cheap" gift. Then, the Guilt Merchants went to work. They locked the doors to their boardrooms and conspired to convince us that if we spend a little money on a "token" to show our love, then spending a lot of money would show that we love that person even more: The number of gifts or the amount of money we spend is in direct proportion to the love that we feel.
And guess what? Like all great lies told often enough, eloquently enough, or long enough, it became the truth, at least in our minds. Over the years, as we have become busier and busier, and more and more disconnected from those who truly matter to us, we have begun to buy more and more gifts, not to show each other how much we love them, but to compensate for the love that we have lost for each other, or the love that we just don't have the time to intimate to each other. Showering someone with gifts used to be a show of affection, now it's a replacement for affection. These are not tokens of love, they are expressions of guilt. The guiltier we feel about the fact that we no longer take the time to give those we care about a hug or a kiss, or tell them on a regular basis how much we love them, the more money we spend buying gifts of guilt. The more money we spend buying gifts of guilt, the more time we have to spend earning that money, and the less time we have to show them that we love them. And guess what that means? That's right, even more gifts of guilt.
This is the faulking truth: I, personally, and I'm certain that I'm not alone in my feeling, would trade each gift I might receive this Christmas for a long, lingering hug, or a truly heartfelt "I love you". Gifts fill my house and, like all things material, last only a short while, but love fills my heart and soul, and sustains me for a lifetime and beyond. So, when you make your Christmas list this year, add the most important gift of all. Tell every person on your list that you love them, and hold them in your arms long enough and passionately enough to let them know that it's true. Give them the gift that keeps on giving, give them the gift of love.
That's MY Christmas wish for this year, and for the years beyond. Think of someone, or make an entire list of someones, that you love, and for good measure, add a couple of people who you think might just need to hear it. And then, here's what I want everyone to do - pick up the phone, send an email, write it on a card, or better yet, look that someone in the eye, and tell them - simply, without explanation, without embellishments, without conditions, and without obligations - I LOVE YOU. You'll get an entire world of responses - surprise, smiles, suspicion, maybe even disappointment that you gave them love instead of money....but if you're really lucky, you'll get this in return, no strings attached, "I LOVE YOU TOO". If they ask why you love them, tell them this, "Love doesn't need a reason, love just is."
Say it, or express it through your actions, often enough, and someday, it will have traveled so far that a total stranger will walk up to you and say "I love you, pass it on". This is the email that needs to circle the world, this is the chain letter that shouldn't be broken. Three simple words that can heal the world.
Are you one of those people (and there are millions of you wandering lost in the world) who need to hear it first, who feel that if you say "I love you" first, then the "I love you too" response is somehow just that, a hollow response?
Fine, then I'll go first. I LOVE YOU.....Pass it on.
Want to share your love with everyone here? Put aside the politics and commercialism for a brief moment and post your sentiments in our Guestbook. http://www.faulkingtruth.com/GuestBook/
(Editor's note: The recent positive outburst from our readers has so inspired all of our writers that I had to re-arrange the furniture to make room for all the articles coming my way. That's why this one has temporarily become a Faulking Around piece.)
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