HOME
Message Board
CURRENT COLUMNS
- Editor's Corner
- Blogfest 2005
- Commentary
- Commentary Too
- Down The Middle
- Faulking Around
- Global Warning
- This guy walks into a bar...
- Investing 101
- Faulking Opinions
- Off The Rail
- Words
ARCHIVES
LINKS
CONTACT US
 | |||
Down The Middle - Aug 9, 2006 - Printable Version
- First in War, First in Peace, First to say "I Quit!"
by Down The Middle
I’m sure very few “young” people have any idea who or what “Lil’ Abner” is…or was, as the title character of Al Capp’s comic strip, and the 1957 Broadway musical and subsequent movie of the same name, much less the satirical story line behind the overgrown, pork chop eating hillbilly, his beautifully buxomed wantabe betrothed, Daisy Mae, or his boot sized parents: moonshining, corn cob pipe smoking mother, Mammy (Pansy)Yokum and his worthless parasite of a father, Pappy (Lucifer) Yokum and the other folk of Dogpatch, USA. The comic strip, beginning in 1934, poked fun at American culture and politics through its wonderfully personified cast of characters, including the ruthless capitalist General Bullmoose, the conspiring corrupt Senator Phogbound and the long deceased but forever glorified favorite son of Dogpatch, Confederate General Jubilation T. Cornpone, whose statue graced the town square in remembrance of Jubilation’s finest hours; “Cornpone’s Retreat, Cornpone’s Disaster and Cornpone’s Rout.”
It’s been almost thirty years since the end of Capp’s famous and seemingly timeless comic strip in 1977(reruns of the strip are still printed in syndication), and only two years less since the death of Capp himself, but the political and social satire lives on through our society, and indeed, the world’s.
By now, I’m sure you’re wondering where in the world this article is leading, something I’m not altogether sure of myself…but for some odd reason, after watching the ongoing hostilities in the Middle East, the last weeks, I think my brain must have finally blown a circuit, sending me back to my childhood and my first viewing of Lil’ Abner, the movie, at an age when I could not have possibly understood the true meaning that lay below the surface of song and comedy, no more than I understood what was hidden beneath Daisy Mae’s little hillbilly outfit, although it really shouldn’t be a problem for any half awake American to transcend the fifty years from that time to now, simply because time changes…and people don’t.
We are still blessed with the character of Senator Phogbounds, near a hundred times over, who continue to posture for their unwitting constituents, as if they were actually somehow still connected to the common man, while throwing our money at projects in a way that will only benefit their elitist friends…and of course, themselves, all the while driving the deficit through the roof.
To work side by side with the hundreds of “Senator Phogbounds”, we seemingly have a proportionate number of corporate CEOs to fit the profile of General Bullmoose, who was fond of saying, “What’s good for General Bullmoose…is good for the USA! (A take-off of General Motors ads at the time).
Case[s] in point; millions spent on Katrina with almost nothing to show for it…and of course, the “War on Terror”. I suppose, if only Israel would hurry up and finish off Lebanon’s infrastructure…using the jets and bombs that WE paid for…then we could send in Kellogg, Brown and Root (Halliburton construction subsidiary) and have the “privilege” of paying for the reconstruction there, as we did in Iraq.
While the Phogbounds and Bullmooses of today do their dastardly deeds of corruption, we all stand frozen in the tracks of our lust by the distraction of our corporate media’s never-ending bombardment of “Stupefyin’ Jones”, confusing it with man’s natural desire for the true love of Daisy Mae.
It seems the only thing we are missing in the comparison of Capp’s Lil Abner of fifty years ago to the contemporary modus operandi of our nation is the man we may need the most, General Jubilation T. Cornpone, who inspired the most popular song of the musical.
The first line of the first verse of his song reading, “When we fought the Yankees and annihilation was near, who was there to lead the charge that took us safe to the rear?”
Surely, our forces are not cowards, by any stretch of the imagination…but I dream of Generals who refuse to fight an unjust war…a war that cannot be won, with an insurgent being born every minute.
I dream of “What if they gave a war and nobody came” [John Lennon poster] and also a poem by Dan Kantak, “What If They Gave A War And Everyone Came.” Or maybe, all we really need is a man like Jubilation T. Cornpone, whose motto was “First in war, first in peace, first to say, “I QUIT!”
What If They Gave a War and Everyone Came
What if they gave a war and everyone came;
Every senator’s son and daughter.
Every senator too and me and you:
Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, Moslem, Jew, in barter.
What if Yale and Harvard went port to starboard,
Sending every scholastic son and daughter.
And “Think Tanks” had to go, committing “who know”
To clean up after the slaughter.
Yes, there’d still be war, but we’d know what for
When we buried our brave sons and daughters.
Copyright 2003 Dan Kantak
Voice your opinion on our message board (you don't have to sign up to post).