Shhhhhh....listen.
What's that sound? I'm not 100% certain, but it sounds like a choir of paper shredders being simultaneously warmed up. Is there some kind of Congressional Paper Shredding Festival coming up that I didn't hear about? Oh wait, it's probably just a "preemptive strike" to prepare for the inevitable onslaught of evidence destruction that the Jack Abramoff plea bargain is sure to trigger.
If you have a really keen sense of hearing, you can actually pinpoint a few of the offices where they are likely to be circling the wagons over the next few weeks while Abramoff is selling them all down the river, one at a time.
Listen: There's one springing to life in Ohio Rep. Bob Ney, chairman of the House Administration Committee's office, where he's probably busy gathering up all of those pesky receipts for the gifts he received from Abramoff in exchange for a few "favors" (wink wink, nudge nudge), and maybe a few of those cash deposit slips that can leave such an ugly stain on your reputation.
And there's another one humming along in House Majority Leader Tom Delay's office, in fact, that one seems to be in danger of overheating from being run continually for the past few months, busy covering an ugly trail of "campaign donations, golf outings, and various complimentary trips to hither and yon" (again....a "wink wink, nudge nudge" is automatically implied after each of these comments).
Shhhhh.....quietly now, let's take a walk down the hall and see who else is busy turning their illicit paper trail into confetti. There are strange noises coming from the office of Oklahoma's own bastion of morality, Rep. Ernest Istook. And I think I hear nervous whispering in Kansas Sen. Sam Brownback's office, and Montana Sen. Conrad Burns seems to be busy practicing his best tone of deniability.
And what's this? We even have a Democrat, North Dakota Sen. Byron Dorgan caught in this little web of apparent bribes, kickbacks, and "special favors." We can't let the Republicans have all of the fun, now can we?
I'm sorry, did I say "little web"? I guess that the 20 Congressmen who are said to be involved in this Publisher's Houselike Giveaway wouldn't technically be considered a little web, but the image of them all squirming to free themselves from this mess is a nice visual.
Once everyone involved in this fiasco start singing like the potentially caged birds that they are, it won't be long until we add a little percussion to the mix - the sweet sound of suitcases being packed and closed, and office drawers being emptied into "to go" boxes. Put it all together, and this little choir of paper shredders could turn into a full blown symphony.
A Symphony of Greed, climaxed by the ominous sound of doors closing behind the corruption that has turned our country into a cacophony of immorality over the past few years.
And that, my fellow music lovers, will be the sweetest sound of all.
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Commentary Too Archives:
Remembering Reagan (Robin Buckallew, Jun 6, 2004)
One Nation... Indivisible (Kelsey Faulk, Jun 19, 2004)
Talking To God (Mark Faulk, Jul 6, 2004)
Please Don't Hang Me On A Cross Of Gold (Apologies to William Jennings Bryan) (Robin Buckallew, Jul 28, 2004)
A Republican Speaks (D.E. Neighbors, Aug 7, 2004)
Does God Need Government Assistance? (Mike Bohling, Aug 21, 2004)
School Just Ain’t What It Used to Be (D.E. Neighbors, Sep 6, 2004)
How To Set Things Right (Robert Wahl, Sep 17, 2004)
Balancing Act (Mike Bohling, Oct 3, 2004)
From the Core of the Big Apple (Kevin Raney, Oct 11, 2004)
Homeland Security: Now Less Than Ever (Mark Faulk, Oct 31, 2004)
You Might be a Dubya Supporter if... (Robin Buckallew, Nov 4, 2004)
Nothing is Certain but Death (Robin Buckallew, Nov 14, 2004)
Without Feathers (Mark Faulk, Dec 1, 2004)
Honey, if That's the Grinch Knocking, Would You Let Him in? (Robin Buckallew, Dec 20, 2004)
Lights Out (Robin Buckallew, Dec 26, 2004)
Is God Dead? (Down The Middle, Jan 4, 2005)
Feeding the Stock Market Beast (Mark Faulk, Jan 11, 2005)
Confessions From the Closet (S. K. Eleton, Jan 16, 2005)
Nowhere to Hide, Ever (A fist full of love) (Mike Bohling, Jan 29, 2005)
The Election That Bush Couldn't Win (Mark Faulk, Feb 6, 2005)
What Women Want (Robin Buckallew, Feb 19, 2005)
Apocalypse Now? (Mark Faulk, Mar 2, 2005)
Stupid Things I See People Do In The Backcountry (Part I) (Mike Bohling, Mar 23, 2005)
Do I Seem Annoyed To You? (Bob O'Brien, Mar 30, 2005)
Time to Boycott GE, Dateline, and NBC? (Mark Faulk, Apr 6, 2005)
(Not) Waiting to Exhale (Jeff Buckley, Apr 12, 2005)
The First Amendment Paradox (S.K. Eleton, Apr 26, 2005)
Giving Science a Wedgie (Robin Buckallew, May 7, 2005)
Lonesome Lake (Mike Spains, May 22, 2005)
Top of the Heap (And other misconceptions about Man’s place in the World) (Mike Bohling, Jun 6, 2005)
Casualties of War (Mark Faulk, Jun 18, 2005)
Buy American! (While You Still Can) (Mark Faulk, Jun 28, 2005)
"You're Fired!" (Mark Faulk, Jul 14, 2005)
London "Suicide Bomber": Cross-Examining the Witness (Mark Faulk, Jul 27, 2005)
Mamas, Don't let your Babies Grow up to Eat French Fries (Robin Buckallew, Aug 11, 2005)
Winning the War on Terror (Mike Bohling, Aug 25, 2005)
It Ain't the Big Easy...It's Dunkirk! (Down the Middle, Sep 1, 2005)
New Orleans: Mother Nature's Fury.....or Urban Renewal? (Mark Faulk, Sep 12, 2005)
Say Goodbye (Down the Middle, Sep 25, 2005)
Republicans Screw America....Again! (Mark Faulk, Oct 7, 2005)
Labor, Community, and Civil Rights Group Announces Rally in Baton Rouge (NOAH Coalition, Oct 25, 2005)
Being Different (Kelsey Renee Faulk, Oct 10, 2005)
Has Overstock.com become --- Overstocked by Wall Street? (Dave Patch, Nov 4, 2005)
Swallowing God (Mike Bohling, Nov 13, 2005)
And May all Your Christmases be White..... (Mark Faulk, Dec 1, 2005)
One Love (Mark Faulk, Dec 22, 2005)
A Symphony of Greed (Mark Faulk, Jan 3, 2006)
Establishment Libs Fuel the Fires of Distraction (Charles Katin, Jan 24, 2006)
This Used to be a Helluva Good Country ** (Robin Buckallew, Feb 4, 2006)
How can shareholders stand up for their rights? (Kevin West, Feb 26, 2006)
In Congress, It's Still a Man's World (Mark Faulk, Mar 19, 2006)
Roddy Boyd: The Other Side of the Story...Feeling the Heat (Mark Faulk, Mar 29, 2006)
The Little Gingerbread Boy (Robin Buckallew, Apr 19, 2006)
It's in the Mail (Eustace P. McGargle, Ph.D., F.A.S.N. , May 17, 2006)
The Land of the Free (S.K.Eleton, May 28, 2006)
The Plame Truth (Robin Buckallew, Jun 7, 2006)
“The world was too ridiculous to bother to live in.” (Mark Faulk, Jun 23, 2006)
What Does Jeb Bush Want to be When he Grows up? (Robin Buckallew, Jul 4, 2006)
Is the Road to Damascus Through Lebanon? (Down the Middle, Jul 15, 2006)
In a Pickle (Down the Middle, Jul 26, 2006)
A Pound of Flesh (Down the Middle, Aug 1, 2006)
Tampa Bay goes to the...oops, I can't say that (Robin Buckallew, Aug 18, 2006)
Mission Accomplished (Down the Middle, Sep 11, 2006)
Bush is a Democrat! (Down the Middle, Sep 28, 2006)
You're Doing it All Wrong (Down the Middle, Oct 4, 2006)
When the Shiite Hits the Fan (Down the Middle, Oct 31, 2006)
Generation W (Mark Faulk, Dec 24, 2006)
Lily White (Lauren Zuniga, Feb 13, 2007)
imaginary friends (Lauren Zuniga, Mar 7, 2007)
The Truth About You (Lauren Zuniga, April 3, 2007 )
God Bless You, Kurt Vonnegut (Mark Faulk, April 12, 2007)
PRESIDENT BUSH 5, CONSTITUTION 4 (S. K. Eleton, July 3, 2007)
laryngitis (Lauren Zuniga, July 26, 2007)
To Grandma, With Love (Robin Buckallew, August 7, 2007)
American Messiah (Robin Buckallew, Feb. 8, 2008)
We Have Seen the Enemy...and they are Gay! (Mark Faulk, Mar 21, 2008)
Teaching Evolution in the Bible Belt (Robin Buckallew, May 16, 2008)
Who's On First? (S.K. Eleton, Jul 7, 2008)
Silver State Bank: Like Rats From a Sinking Ship (Mark Faulk, Aug 1, 2008)
Top McCain Adviser Linked to AIG Collapse (Mark Faulk, Sep 17, 2008)
Financial Armageddon (Mark Faulk, Sep 30, 2008)
Mr. Bush Regrets (S.K. Eleton, Nov 17, 2008)
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