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Commentary - May 6, 2006 - Printable Version
- Fez-O-Phobia
by Robin Buckallew
The time of year is approaching when parades become so common they are almost routine - Memorial Day, the Fourth of July ˆ numerous parades in cities across the nation. I would like you to do me a favor at the next parade you attend - look carefully for the fellows wearing fezzes driving those silly little miniature cars that are a ubiquitous presence wherever parades are found. We all know them - the butt of numerous jokes, the crazy conventioneers in madcap comedies in the movies - the Shriners. I want you to look at them closely, and I want to ask yourself, is this the fearful visage one would expect of a man involved in a sinister plot to control the world? Because such is the nature of conspiracy theory - these men are believed to be behind one of the most diabolical plots devised to control the financial and political centers of the world. Already I can hear you protesting – we’re not talking about the Shriners, we’re talking about the Masons. And we’re not talking about all of the Masons - only those that are 32nd degree or higher. Yes, I know. I’ve seen the postings all over the Internet, I’ve read the articles in myriad magazines. I have never seen a single source worry that the Shriners are part of any conspiracy. Not directly, anyway. You see, one thing that many people don’t realize as they laugh at the antics of the Shriners - all Shriners are 32nd degree Masons. It is the core requirement for membership. So, am I accusing the Shriners of being part of a diabolical conspiracy? Please don’t misunderstand me - I’m not making any such accusation at all. Au contraire. I am, in fact, considerably disturbed that an ancient and unfounded superstition has once again reared its ugly head to tar the good reputations of many upstanding citizens who do a great deal to contribute to their community, and whose most subversive activity is a pancake breakfast. Shriners maintain numerous crippled children’s hospitals around the nation, and donate their time free of charge transporting children who need help to the hospitals, where they receive quality medical care free of charge. The only thing they get in return for this is a warm glow, and the smiles and hugs of grateful children. They hold circuses, complete with clowns and acrobats, to help them raise the needed money to support these hospitals, and they provide the means for poor children to attend these circuses without charge. The work they do has helped make the world a slightly better place for all of us. They deserve our praise and our support, and instead they get our suspicion and our scorn. Fortunately, most of them are not bothered by the conspiracy theories - in fact, they tend to find it rather amusing. I, myself, used to find it a subject more amusing than frightening. But in the current polarized and paranoid climate of America, I fear it could turn much more ugly and sinister. As Americans seek to find easy solutions for complex problems, it becomes tempting to avoid confusion by pointing fingers at the nearest available scapegoat. This is a dangerous temptation, leading not only to the failure to solve society’s most challenging problems, but also to a significant threat to the scapegoat. It is a temptation that must be avoided at all costs, even if it means giving up the comfort of certainty for the rather more discomfiting position of uncertainty and doubt.
The idea of the Masonic conspiracy is an old one. The organization itself dates back at least to early eighteenth century England, when they first formed organized lodges. It is an international order, and Masons consider other members of the order as “brothers”. They have a series of seemingly mysterious rituals, open only to the initiated, including handshakes, passwords, and formal ceremonies to which only members are privy. Although membership requires a statement of faith, vowing belief in a Supreme Being, and uses the King James version of the Bible, many Christians accuse the Masons of being anti-Christian. From its inception, the Masonic Lodge has attracted suspicion and fear, with many books and tracts being written by detractors, and even an entire political party formulated around Masonic opposition in mid-nineteenth century America. In the late nineteenth century, the National Christian Association was formed in Pittsburgh. Its sole mission was to blame the ills of society on secretive societies. Still in existence today, they consider the Masons the worst of these societies, responsible for political assassinations, sexual immorality, and many other evils. The Masons have also been frequently accused of being behind the Illuminati. The Illuminati arose in late 18th century Bavaria, a secret society with a political agenda to promote republicanism and abolish monarchy. The society had little success and was destroyed within fifteen years, though many conspiracy theorists insist with no evidence that they are still active and flourishing today. The Masons, which actually had no connection with the Illuminati, are a flourishing organization, claiming 4 million members worldwide, and contributing countless hours and substantial financial support to charitable causes in their communities.
In addition, the Masonic conspiracy theory has often been coupled with the equally nonsensical Jewish conspiracy. The Jews have been a despised ethnic group since the early days of Christianity. Wild rumors and unsupported accusations have long characterized the volatile interactions between the two groups, and when Christianity triumphed, and became the dominant religious force throughout the western world, the Jewish community became isolated in scattered communities known as “ghettos”. Because money-lending was a usurious and forbidden activity for Christians, this occupation was turned over to the Jewish community; in fact, in many periods of history, there were few other occupations which were open to Jews. As a result, the presence of Jewish individuals within the banking community should not come as a surprise, nor should it be viewed as a sinister takeover on the part of the Christian community; rather, it is simply a natural outgrowth of the ability of the Jewish people to adapt and survive in a hostile environment. In spite of this, the specter of Jewish duplicity continues to raise its ugly head throughout the fearful and paranoid portion of the Christian world that perceives itself under constant threat from the forces of “evil”. This suspicion and fear reached its culmination in the late nineteenth century publication of The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, written in Russia by the Czar’s secret police, and still widely distributed throughout the Arab and Christian communities today. This document has long been known to be a complete forgery; a hoax designed to “prove” the nefarious designs of a despised minority. Consulting my sources about the acceptability of this document, I am told by historians that this forgery is so well documented even the holocaust deniers giggle at it. In spite of this, portions of the document still turn up in newspapers, magazines and particularly on the World Wide Web, published as “evidence” of a cabal of Jewish power brokers who control the centers of power in Washington and elsewhere, and are secretly pulling the strings that direct the day to day activities of both Wall Street and Main Street. A natural outgrowth of all this fear and superstition was the willingness with which citizens of Germany cooperated with Hitler’s Final Solution, leading to the death of millions of German Jews. It was also evident in the refusal of other western nations to permit the large scale immigration of German Jews seeking to avoid annihilation. Many modern American conspiracy theorists scoff at the idea that such wholesale Holocaust could happen in 21st century America; this is simply shortsighted and dangerously complacent thinking. Wide spread paranoia, whipped to a fever pitch by the thundering bombast of Pat Robertson, will lead inexorably to tragedy. America is not immune from hatred and bigotry; our history is replete with examples of murder and mayhem committed in the name of God and country.
The recent and rapid increase in the scope and intensity of conspiracy theory acceptance is a cause for alarm. In modern society, with widespread perception of societal deterioration, it is natural to look for a cause of all the disorder. Our minds, complex as they are, prefer simple solutions, and will instinctively gravitate to that which is compact and easy to digest. In addition, we are accustomed to fear the unfamiliar, and to look askance at those who look, talk or act different than ourselves. America is chockfull of such groups of people, and fingers of blame are being pointed in many different directions simultaneously. I fear the future of this nation if we go down that road, and I fear the future of this nation if we let our attention to very real problems be distracted from very real solutions by a simplistic scapegoating and scaremongering conspiracy theory. We are an intelligent species, and it is time for us to transcend our native fears and superstitions, and learn to resolve our problems in a sensible, rational manner. The evidence does not support the hypothesis of either a Masonic or a Jewish conspiracy; it is only a form of mass hysteria that continues to promulgate and disseminate such spurious doctrine. Fear of the unknown is a gut response; the proper role for the gut is to digest nourishment, not information. Re-examining our assumptions and questioning our prejudices is better handled by our brains. Sorting through facts and data can be a slow and tedious process, but it is richly rewarding in the end, and will ultimately lead to a much more satisfying and accurate resolution to a problem than credulous acceptance of secret cabals plotting nefarious schemes to take over the world.
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