Commentary - Nov 11, 2005 - Printable Version - Bitch, Bitch, Bitch! by Down the Middle Although most of my articles appear to be leaning, if not jumping to the Left, the fact of the matter is, I do have some conservative beliefs.......really! I just prefer to pick and choose my battles, based on the facts and not the political affiliation, but it seems all I hear these days is "Left Wing", Right Wing". What does that make me...the pulley bone? The faulking truth is, I'm sick of watching the Republicans sell off this nation, while the Democrats seem to be keeping their mouths shut for a cut of the action. Well, I know they're not all that way, but today I'm just not in the mood. Actually, I've been in a bad mood for about five years, now...so, faulk 'em. Faulk 'em all! This member of the radical middle's got some bitchin' to do. I am adamantly opposed to abortion, because I was involved in one, many years ago, all the while telling myself, "It was the right thing to do, because the world is such a bad place," but in my heart, I know that wasn't the true reason, and I have been haunted by the memory ever since. It may not have been my child...but it probably was, and after all these years, I still can't escape the thought of it. I killed my own son...and I will never forgive myself. I can only pray that God will. At the same time, in a country based on freedoms (like all of those that the neo-cons have taken away, lately), it's a bit tough to legislate what women are to do with their own bodies. That is a decision that the individual must make, and it is they who will have to answer to God, as I will. I suppose by now, you've figured out what my next "conservative" value is. Yes, I do believe in God. Maybe, that's a primitive, unscientific and very passe' idea.....but it's the only way I have of explaining "all this". For me, it all can't be an accident. Everything's far too complex and interconnected, not to mention, totally and completely ironic. I make no pretense of knowing "who" or "what" God is......maybe I should just call my creator "the Force," and let it go at that. But while I'm on the subject, I would like to ask Bill Maher and George Carlin to give it up. Just because you two unruly boys got your ass blistered every other day by nuns, in Catholic school, it doesn't mean that I'm a mental defective because I believe in a "higher being". Quit blaming religion on God. If I'm delusional, please let me enjoy it. I love your humor, Bill. It's the best! And I most always catch your show...but I heard you agree with the neo-cons, on Iraq. Then disagree. Then agree, again. In fact, you've waffled so much on this topic, I'm beginning to think you just might be ready for that Democratic congressional seat. And I love Carlin. I think George is the hardest working, most inventive, stand-up comedian of our era...but George, you keep telling me I'm faulked in the head for my belief in God, while you present me with junior high, locker room humor, based on the bodily functions of human beings. Now, there's a faulkin' mental problem. The fact is, you two are the best of our times, hands down.....but let it go. Not all Christians voted for the charlatan, Bush, and some of us actually try to live our lives peacefully, while letting others go their own way. I know, many of these so-called Christians are living in the Old Testament, forgetting the true ways of Jesus, but that's their problem, not mine. When you say, "Those Christians", I would appreciate it, if you would point to "those" Christians...or whatever they are. Not at me. "Dependency and entitlement! Dependency and entitlement!". I also don't believe in unlimited welfare. After about three generations of the same family "cashing in" on everything that can be squeezed out of the government, I have to believe that some people just don't want to get off their fat ass, while I'm out bustin' my (cute) little one, for them. Hell, if somebody will drop off a check at my mailbox, I'm sitting right here, watching TV for the next thirty days, or until my ass doubles in size, whichever comes first. Only a couple of days into the New Orleans debacle, with two stories running on the FT "cover page" about the horrors going on there, some "person" came to our site to post about "dependency and entitlement", the latest catch phrase of the right wing pundits, propagated at that time to set people against the waterlogged poor of that city. Seeing such crap in the midst of such a human tragedy, I couldn't help but post my smart-ass reply of, "That's right, let them niggers get a job and buy their own rescue helicopters". Crass.....sure. Politically incorrect.....damn right. Racist.....not a chance. Just making my point, as I could no longer listen to such partisan nonsense while watching people die (Good job, Brownie!). To me, it was not a political issue but a humanitarian issue. It never occurred to me that we needed to check anyone's bank accounts or their political affiliations, much less, the color of their skin, before saving them. Apparently, I was wrong. Yes, some people are lazy and stupid. Unfortunately, most of them already work for FEMA and they are getting paid a lot better than the people living at the bottom of New Orleans. I know everything isn't right with the system. Never has been.....never will. I also know that people sometimes need help. Maybe it would help if our congress would get off their slack asses and stop this "free trade" raping of America and get some jobs back in this country. And let's not forget the rich, who are sucking up enough of our tax dollars to feed the whole, damn delta. Have you ever noticed that we don't seem to have many poor people in political office, these days? If they're poor when they get there, they're not poor for long. I see hundreds of political hacks spending their entire lives moving in and out of high level government positions that seem to yield great influence over the successes of their private sector portfolio. The perfect example of late is Donnie Rumsfeld and the government purchase of all that Tamiflu, produced by a company where Donnie used to sit on the board and reportedly, still owns enough stock to have quickly earned him up to a million bucks off of the deal. You may also have noticed, not so long ago, that Bush pushed through major changes in the procurement and allotment of our elderly's medicines that create millions in windfall profits for the pharmaceutical companies. As it happens, several Bush family members just happen to own a bunch of that stock, too. Then, there's Mr. Cheney. Is there anybody out there that hasn't make the connection with all the "no bid, open-ended" government contracts for his company, Halliburton. Is there really anybody that faulkin' stupid? (No! Don't tell me!) So, there you go! Three little "conservative" thoughts...and for a minute there, I almost sounded like a Republican. (I wonder if a bath would help?) Oh, don't worry, O'Rushanity, I still wouldn't sit down and break bread with your sorry ass...but I am getting to the point that I don't think too much of the Left, either. I even quit the Democratic Party a couple of years ago and registered as an Independent, although I don't think they've missed me, yet. After all, I'm just one of the "people", mentioned, way back in that thing they called our Constitution. I guess, I'm a man without a party, now. Maybe, a man without a country. I've watched this "morally correct" administration give important positions to pornographers and male "escorts", all the while filling it's voter ranks with homosexuals (and no, I'm not a gay basher. As many of you already know, my gay brother, who I loved very much, passed away over ten years ago, and I still mourn his loss today). But I have talked with so many people that voted against Kerry because of the abortion issue and the looming question of gay marriage. What I'm wondering is, with all that "Bible thumping" and for all the Godly righteousness that was spouted about before the elections, what are these Republicans really doing about their "moral issues". In a word.......nothing. Why? Because they never really cared about "morality" or God. All they cared about was getting elected and getting richer off of the blood, sweat and tears of the common man. For these "Christians", I have just one simple question that can be answered with a single word. "Would Jesus start a war for oil?" I say, if the neo-cons want to invade somebody, how 'bout we jump the Caymens, this time and liberate all those American corporations (and our tax money) being held hostage, there. Maybe we could send the Democrats in and get them a little combat experience. I just hope they don't get their balls blown off. Oh, sorry. I guess there's really no chance of that happening...now, is there. And speaking of, I just have one more bitch. (Applause) That is, just one more bitch today. As you may already know, my editor and all around champion of the people, Mark Faulk was on Left Hook, WKY 930 AM, Liberal Talk Radio, last weekend, where I thought Mark did a wonderful job explaining the ongoing stock market scandal and the show even touched on the topic of medical marijuana. Then, something went terribly wrong. They put me "on air", live via telephone, as they apparently had been reading my commentaries about the coming wars, specifically Iran. Other than the fact that everyone in cyber/radio land had to suffer my Okie accent (Yes, I got mail!) and that I had to suffer through "their" prank caller with his hemorrhoid story and gay bank robber joke, leaving me little time to discuss that "little ole, oil war", I was still grateful to see any chance at getting the truth out. It was only when I went to their web site a few days later and listened to the show stream (I had to know exactly how bad that accent really was.) that I discovered my accent was virtually nonexistent. In fact, I was virtually nonexistent. The whole damn segment about the oil war was gone! Imagine that! Gone...disappeared...never existed. I don't blame the show's hosts, Bryan and Wendi. I'm sure the engineer had his orders from Sinclair or whoever owns the station...but at the same time, I'll have to suffer along with my Okie accent, never knowing the truth. I'll never know the truth about my "good ole boy" southern accent, and the Left Hook listening audience will never know the truth about the war. I suppose if they want that, they'll just have to go to the Faulking Truth.
Voice your opinion on our message board (you don't have to sign up to post). Commentary Archives: Is Canada Robbing America Blind? Terrorism North of the Border (Mark Faulk, Mar 19, 2004) 1/31/01: Somewhere Over Middle America (Mark Faulk, Mar 27, 2004) The Radical Middle (Mark Faulk, Apr 10, 2004) We Have Seen The Enemy...... (Mark Faulk, May 11, 2004) StockGate: A Call To Arms (Mark Faulk, Jun 7, 2004) A Call To Arms: Firing The First Shots (Mark Faulk, Jun 20, 2004) Searching For Michael Moore (Mark Faulk, Jul 20, 2004) To The NASD: PROVE ME WRONG! 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