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Commentary - Jun 20, 2005 - Printable Version
- Truth is Out of Style
by Robin Buckallew
What are we going to do about Howard Dean? Seems he's done it again. No matter what we do or say, no matter how much Prozac James Carville slips into his lunch, no matter how many straitjackets Nancy Pelosi ties him into, he just won't stop opening his mouth and uttering the obscene, dirty truth. Now, once again, he's done it, and the Democratic Party leadership has to rush to chastise, to cover all bases, and to grovel and whine and apologize. After all, we can't have such blatant truth-telling going on now, can we? Dean's truth-addiction first got noticed in December of 2003, just after the capture of Saddam Hussein. While the news was still gloating and crowing, Dean just had to open his big mouth and say the world really wasn't safer now that Hussein was captured. I don't know what was going through his mind! He based this on some admittedly VERY weak evidence - the fact that Iraq had no "weapons of mass destruction" and in fact not even very many conventional weapons (or money, or food, or electricity), the fact that Hussein had been effectively contained for about a decade and hadn't invaded or threatened anyone, the fact that Hussein wasn't actually tied to Al Queda, and the fact that his closest neighbors, who were most in range of the weapons he did have, were flat refusing to be afraid of him. On such extremely paltry data, Dean had the audacity to claim that the world wasn't any safer with Saddam Hussein captured. Of course, the world could indeed be a nicer, more pleasant, and more congenial sort of place with Saddam Hussein rotting away behind bars. But safer? Howard Dean didn't think so. At least, that's what he said. And you'd think the reaction from that giant blunder would have cured him of his obscene truth-telling habit once and for all. But no, not Howard Dean. He just had to press on.
During the campaign, Dean famously remarked that he was interested in appealing not only to the traditional Democratic base, but also to those southern white males who sported Confederate flag decals and gun racks on their pickup trucks. Uh, oh. It seems that this truth was also unspeakable. Apparently, those southern white males who flaunt their Confederate flags and their gun racks in our faces every day are shy about it. The whole country rose up in unison to challenge Dean's assertion. I will point out the main problem with Dean's scenario - he was actually only including about HALF of the southern white population. He was leaving out the southern white females who sport Confederate flags and gun racks on their pickup trucks. Trust me, I spend 99.99% of my time in the south. I've seen them. Even the educated elite in Texas more often than not fit Dean's description. But we mustn't say so. Telling the truth is a dreadful sin, for which we shall be roundly thrashed. And, of course, Dean was. But this didn't stop him. Oh, no, not Howard Dean. Even losing the primary election can't stop this man from blurting out such deplorable truths.
The latest furor is over Dean's inadvertently letting slip the secret that the Republican Party is mostly white and Christian. This was a dreadful statement to make, because, in fact, the make-up of the Republican Party is actually mostly, well, white and Christian. Since it's the truth, we mustn't say it. Never, never, never, never! Again, the Democratic Party leadership is scrambling to apologize, to demand that Dean apologize, to retract, to correct. After all, the Republicans have Colin Powell, J. C. Watts, Condoleezza Rice, Alberto Gonzales and William Kristol. They bring them out at every single photo opportunity, just to let us know that they really aren't JUST white and JUST Christian. We're not supposed to see all the winks and the nods in the heartland that are meant to assure their base in middle America that they're still really mostly white and Christian. How dare Howard Dean speak such a truth, even one that everyone already knows? Shame on him. A pox upon his house.
And then there's the other truth, the one that he spoke while he was campaigning for president. He continually blurted out the "secret" that he wasn't really a liberal. This was horrible! How could he say such a thing? In spite of the fact that it's true. He is, in fact, very firmly in the middle, with an occasional leaning to the left and an occasional leaning to the right. Actually, this can be a very valuable habit. It is just possible that Howard Dean could serve as the appropriate balance to keep the party from tipping over and drowning in a sea of ideology. Whenever those of us to his left begin to flail helplessly around with our oars, he can lean just a little rightward, managing to gently right the boat before we all tip out. When those to his right begin to thrash about helplessly, he can lean just a little bit leftward, and get us back on straight. We can hook our anchor chains to Howard Dean, and he can help us keep the boat upright and floating in the right direction. But only as long as he continues to tell the truth. Because the truth is a rare and priceless commodity in Washington these days, and in fact has been so rarely sighted of late some of us were beginning to think it was extinct.
So, what should we do about Howard Dean? Chain him up? Lock him in a padded cell with Michael Moore and force them to learn about the niceties of polite politics by listening to Ann Coulter, Michael Savage, Rush Limbaugh, Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Dennis Miller? I would say this to Howard Dean: keep it up, Howard. I may not always agree with you, but I find the truths that issue from your mouth to be refreshing. I watch with anticipation the embarrassment and the consternation of the Democratic Party leadership as they struggle to recover their "bipartisan" relationship with the neocons, and their huge donations from the corporations that sponsor them. As the corporations squeal in anger and slam their checkbooks shut, I can see countless thousands of ordinary Americans, the real working folks who keep this country running in both the red and the blue states, rushing to their checkbooks to donate to a politician for the first time. For that reason, I hereby nominate Howard Dean, former governor of Vermont, for this week's Diogenes award, for reinstituting a fine old American tradition of telling the truth (long absent from politics and advertising, and slowly eroding away from the day to day fabric of American life). Keep it up, Howard! Keep those truths coming. America is ready for a change. Let's hear it for the truth.
*Apologies to MC 900-Ft. Jesus
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