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Commentary - Jan 4, 2005 - Printable Version
- Can This Marriage be Saved?
by Robin Buckallew
I fear it might be time for the dissolution of our relationship. On what grounds, you might ask? Oh, that is easy. Philandering. Threatened abandonment. Irreconcilable incompatibility. This divorce won't be an easy one. After all the years of laughter and tears, of bleeding and sweating through the hard times, it will be with moist eyes that I make the split. I still remember that day, so long ago, when as a starry eyed 18-year-old I walked down the aisle of the County Election Board and pledged my troth to you, the Democratic Party. The relationship has lasted many years, not always satisfying to be sure, but always with an eye to a brighter future. I have been true, I have been loyal. I have worked hard and long hours to help you realize your dreams. Now, I fear you have become enamored of the wealthy dominatrix down the street, and your philandering ways threaten the very fabric of our relationship. But it isn't your philandering that hurts the worst. It is the way you take me for granted, and believe that I will continue to tag along at your heels awaiting whatever crumbs may fall my way. Meanwhile, you are dismissing me as irrelevant, obsolete, the old ball and chain. I realize that times have not been easy recently. Many of our neighbors scorn us, jeer at our beliefs, our ideals, and even the fact that we like bagels. Sometimes they throw rocks through our windows, angry at our very existence in their midst. And with the recent job losses that we have suffered, it seems a dark day indeed. The wealthy dominatrix looks better and better. After all, she controls 51% of the wealth, whereas I can only offer you 49%. The grass begins to look greener on the other side of the fence. So you begin to talk about abandoning everything we have worked for together, everything we have believed, in an attempt to woo the "other". You spend long hours pondering over her wishes, her desires, and figuring out how to give her what she wants. You know you will never get her total commitment, that she will always hold back a bit of herself, but you figure you are safe doing this, for you are so convinced that you will never lose me with my 49%. After all, you reason, where else do I have to go?
Well, I have news for you, my long-time lover. There have been others wooing me, also. Teasing me with promises of a better life, a better world. So far, I have resisted them, because I how much it would hurt you if I abandoned you. I believed in what we had together. I believed (foolishly, perhaps) that you would get over this brief flirtation and come back to me. I have held my head high, suffering the jeers and taunts of enemies and the quiet sympathy of friends who continually pointed out that you were drifting away from me. But now you join the chorus. With the boys down at the pub, you jibe at me and poke at me, calling me names to make yourself look like a big man in their eyes. You hope they will pass on to the wealthy vamp that you are available. You remember fondly the days when she was yours, as firmly and fiercely loyal as I have been. But she was wooed by another who promised her more than you were able to give, and abandoned you. She asked you for much more than I ever have. She is insisting that you give her everything, but she has in return promised you nothing. Yet still you run after her with your tongue hanging out, drooling in your desire to possess her riches, ignoring utterly the riches I have been consistently and faithfully sharing with you.
Remember what she asked of you? Think about what she is asking of you now. She is demanding that you give up all your friends, all your loved ones, and cleave only unto her. She is demanding that you accept only those friends she considers suitable. And in return for the small part of herself which she should choose to bestow upon you (if any at all), you will be held deeply in her debt for eternity, doing endless favors for her friends, fixing all their problems, and answering every time they call. She is a jealous mistress, and cannot be satisfied with anything less than total devotion to her every whim. You must adopt her god. You must adopt her market. You must adopt her likes and her hates. And when she feels she has been insulted (or when she just wants to see a fight), you must fight the battles she provokes. You must learn to hate all things French, to drink beer if she tells you she prefers it to champagne, to remove any word from your vocabulary that has more than two syllables. Above all, you must recognize that nothing else matters but her. If she chooses to poison the water and food she feeds your children, you must look the other way. If she chooses to fire all your brothers to send their jobs overseas, you must not complain. For such are her demands. She will not be satisfied with anything less. And in return, she will give you crumbs.
And so I say to you, go ahead, chase after your wealthy dominatrix. Promise her you will put her whims ahead of all else. It is no wonder you take me for granted, as I have always been there when you have returned after one of your wanderings. But no more. I have had enough. If you truly think I am irrelevant, than I challenge you to see how you will get by without me.
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