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Blogfest 2005 - Jan 4, 2005 - Printable Version
- Hurtling Headlong Through the Blogosphere
by Mark Faulk
I've been contemplating writing an article about how Blogs are replacing the socalled "mainsteam media" as the relevant source of information. My intent is to fill the article full of hyperbole, because that's what blogs do best. But right now, it's really late, and I'm faulking tired, so that article will have to wait for another day (and another pot of coffee). In the meantime, I'll cobble together this little commentary by stealing bits and pieces from articles on other blogs. That's the other thing that blogs do best: This is from an article entitled (appropriately enough) "Blog Readership Surged 58% in 2004":
"If 2004 was, among other things, the Year of the Blog, that development occurred in terra incognita for most online Americans, according to a new report from the Pew Internet & American Life Project.
Pew found blog readership increased sharply, up 58 percent, between February and November 2004. This, despite the fact 62 percent of adult American Internet users still have no clear idea what a blog actually is."
And this is from an article entitled "Pew Study: Blogs busted out in 2004":
"Last year proved to be a big one for blogs and bloggers, according to data released from the Pew Internet & American Life Project. Blog readership jumped 58% between February and November and included 32 million U.S. citizens in 2004. More than 8 million U.S. citizens have created a Web-based diary, and one in 10, or around 14 million U.S. Internet users, has contributed thoughts or comments to a blog.
The figures released by the Pew Research Center are just the latest in a series of studies on the growth of blogs on the Internet and show that the online diaries are becoming important sources of information for Internet users. Despite gains in popularity, blogs are still the domain of Internet cognoscenti. More than 62% of those surveyed said they don't know what a blog is, Pew said."
If The Faulking Truth were to release an article about this (which we haven't, at least not yet, unless, of course, you consider this piece of fluff an article), it would go something like this:
Last year was the Year of the Blog. A survey showed that blog readership surged 58% in the past year, even though blogs were described in one article as "still the domain of Internet cognoscenti", and another article said that "that development occurred in terra incognita". The survey also found that 62% of American Internet users have no idea what a blog is. In fact, many Americans think it's the title from a really bad fifties "B" movie.
However, a separate survey conducted by the Faulking Truth found that 85.74% of Americans don't know what "cognoscenti" or "terra incognita" means either. Our scientific survey, which has a margin of error of plus or minus 71.45%, found that the vast majority of Faulking Truth readers didn't know what either word meant, and in fact were too busy flirting with each other to even care. Typical answers for "cognoscenti" included "I don't know", "I don't know either", "To be mindful of what you're doing", and "Does this dress make me look fat?", while the answers for "terra incognita" ranged from "what the what?", "To stick your mind {head} in the sand?", and "Means 'no earthly idea'", to "Does this lipstick clash with my shoes?". Only one participant knew the correct answer, and we accused her of cheating.
The Computer World article also said that "Most of these readers, 57%, are male. Less than half of the surveyed blog readers, 48%, are under 30." Guess what? All the hot, under thirty female readers are at the Faulking Truth. Go to our guestbook. It's a regular babefest. And the ones that aren't under thirty are so damn hot that you won't care how old they are (just ask them....they'll tell you themselves). That's right, all you Elderly Men's Club Blogs, eat your collective hearts out! Hey, let's face it, if you can't get the babes to show up for the cyberparty, all you've got is a bunch of over-the-hill drunk loser nerds with pocket protectors. And those are the same guys who wouldn't even leave their houses to vote for Howard Dean.
And that, fellow blogomites, is the Faulking Truth. Does this blog make me look fat?
The survey (as if we even care):
http://www.pewinternet.org/
The Computer World article (whatever):
http://www.computerworld.com/developmenttopics/websitemgmt/story/0,10801,98680,00.html
The Clickz Article (Heck, these guys can't even spell "clicks" right):
http://www.clickz.com/stats/sectors/traffic_patterns/article.php/3453431
(Disclaimer: Each contestant in our survey received the home edition of the Faulking Truth Guestbook, where they can create imaginary affairs with their friends, debate important topics ranging from "Is Bush gay?" to "which guy looks best in a dress?", and make fun of their enemies without even telling them. Plus, they'll each receive a week's all-expenses paid vacation to beautiful Hydro, Oklahoma, where they'll be attending the 35th annual Hydro Free Fair. And....one of our beautiful girls will have a chance to be crowned Miss Hydro Free Fair of 2005.
Are you going to Hydro Free Fair?
Cinnamon, cloves, dill pickles, and jam
Remember me to the prize winning hog
For she once was a true love of mine.....
(Editor's note: This is an entry from The Faulking Truth blog, ingeniously entitled "Blogfest 2005". If you'd like to spend more of your valuable time blogging, go to www.faulkingtruth.com/blog/ )
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