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  Editor's Corner  -  Dec 12, 2006  -  Printable Version
- We're on A Mission From God
   by Mark Faulk

Tomorrow, MTV camera crews are coming to the offices of Togi Entertainment, the infancy-stage meglomedia conglomerate that I have, by some freakish wrinkle in the time/space continuum, been appointed President/CEO of. (yeah, that's my participle dangling....so what?) They're already in Oklahoma City, holed up in some $19.95 a night fleabag hotel on the east side of town. Okay, probably not. Motel 6? Econolodge? I know it's a short trip, so maybe they decided to stay at the pay-by-the-hour Classen Inn.

Pick your poison.

Last night, I wrote a couple of pages on the fly that may or may not end up in the autobiography that I'm co-writing with Bryan Abrams, who is the reason that MTV is slumming it in Middle America. Here's the first paragraph of what I wrote last night. The story that ensued was full of drama and intrigue, but I'll leave out all the good parts and save them for the book (coming in Spring 2007). That's just the kind of tease I am.

"It is around 10:00 P.M., and tomorrow evening the crews from MTV are scheduled to arrive in Oklahoma City to shoot footage for the upcoming VH1 series that Bryan Abrams will be starring in with three other so-called former "boy band" stars: Jeff Timmons from 98 Degrees, Chris Kirkpatrick from N*SYNC, and Rich Cronin from LFO. The concept is simple: put four ex-superstar singers in the same house for a week, hook them up with some of the industry's best producers, let them write songs together, rehearse together, and then take them all into the recording studio..and see what happens. It's a sort of Surreal World meets The Making of the Band."

Today, my able-bodied assistant Toni and I spent the first couple of hours on what could only be described as a mission from God.....well, it could be described any damn way one wants to describe it....but since I'm not going to describe it at all it's really a moot point, now isn't it? (I will say this though...we videotaped the entire episode. Use your imagination, suckers.)

When I told Toni that we were going on a quest today, her first thought was "we'll need disguises!" That girl is always one step ahead of me.....and herself, for that matter. When I mentioned that I might write her "into the scene," she immediately sent me this message:

"she was a fiesty redhead, been on the wrong side of the tracks a few times. i could tell when she walked into my office, red hair swinging, it was going to be a day like no other day..."

Yeah, I know....she's good. Too good.

I can't really divulge what transpired for the first couple of hours, but I will say that it culminated in a Jake and Elwood-style stop for donuts and tasty meat-filled-dough-type-things. After a scene like that, caffeine, sugar, and good-old American lard was the only way to go.

We spent the rest of the day preparing for MTV, trying to make our humble office abode look like Rockefeller Center - a really small, two-room Rockefeller Center decorated in cheap Christmas lights, fold-out tables, and putittogetheryourselffakewoodlaminate furniture.

It worked......the place looks like a million (Monopoly) bucks!!!

Now, I have to go dig out my Viking hat and giant clock necklace for tomorrow...I so want to impress the "young kids" with my groovy hipness.

I'll update everyone on how it goes, and maybe sneak in a couple of party pics....so until the next road trip, just remember:

"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we've got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and we're wearing sunglasses."


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