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Editor's Corner - Apr 27, 2005 - Printable Version
- The Perfect Faulking Update
by Mark Faulk
(Editor's note: I started this update on Sunday, and then looked up and it was Wednesday. My how time flies when you're dysfunctional.) It's Sunday evening, and the harsh reality of Monday is mocking me yet again. I know I'm overdue on the "Faulking Truth Update", but my hard drive crashed a week or so ago, and it wasn't a pretty sight. My computer, on the other hand, is still working fine. Let's just say I've been busy doing research for a Lifetime movie script, and leave it at that.
First things first: I'm assigning homework to everyone here. Lily posted this little "food for thought" quote in our Guestbook a couple of days ago, and I liked it so much that I thought I'd turn it into a Blog entry. SO.......here's everyone's assignment, complete the following phrase: "It would all be perfect if only (Fill in the blank)". Email it to me at info@faulkingtruth.com , or post in in our Guestbook, and I'll compile the various answers into a Blog entry in the next couple of days. Get busy, there will be a test on this later......(but it's multiple choice, so don't sweat it).
On with the show......over the past couple of weeks, we've covered everything from cat hunting to lost weekends in Havana, and that's just Russell Tharp's articles. What the faulk, I guess that's as good a place as any to begin......
In "Stalking the Wild Beast", Russell takes us on an imaginary cat hunting trip that would be just plain funny except that two states have already legalized cat hunting, and a third one is trying to join in the fun as we speak. To quote Russell, "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!" That one's in the archives at: http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/FaulkingAround/1025.html
Then, Tharp lets his imagination run wild again in "How I Spent my Weekend" (also in the archives at http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/BlogFest/1035.html ), a decidedly exaggerated story about the three or four days that I was AWOL a week or so ago. In reality, I was on a cat hunting expedition, and spent a couple of days in traction after surviving a vicious attack from a rampaging Siamese.
In "No Testing Company Left Behind", Robin Buckallew takes on mandatory school testing, a topic that every teacher in America (and their students) are stressing out about right now, as they wade neck deep into end-of-the-year testing. And in "The North Shall Rise Again", Robin looks at the upside of higher gas prices, and calls for a reality check when it comes to gas usage and alternative solutions such as public tranportation and alternative fuels.
In "You've Been Had....Again!" Down the Middle notes the quiet defection of the Bush supporters, as they wake up to the reality, which is "you've been had....again!" Also, take a look at "The Pope and I", where DtM plays a little connect the dots while trying to explain the close ties that Bush had to Pope John Paul II. That one is at http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/DownTheMiddle/1033.html .
We welcome back Jeff Buckley with "(Not) Waiting to Exhale" ( http://www.faulkingtruth.com/Articles/CommentaryToo/1029.html ), where he ponders why the Department of Defense has dragged their feet in reimbursing soldiers in Iraq who have had to spring for their own, well, their own everything. It makes you wonder what our priorities really are in Iraq (well, WE know what they are, but you get what I'm saying).
We just posted a great piece by S.K. Eleton, entitled "The First Amendment Paradox", which takes a look at our "religious freedoms", or the lack thereof, as the First Amendment is re-interpreted by a whole new breed of religious zealot. This one will make you think (that's a good thing, by the way).
In our Words column, I've chosen a beautiful piece by Pablo Neruda entitled "I Like You to be Still" (a special thanks to the reader who brought Neruda into my conscienceness, this one's for you).
And me? I've written a couple of typically off-center pieces (while working on two or three more serious ones), one called "Yesterday I was making fun of Republicans.....now I are one", and another one entitled "How Many Lesbians Does it take to Screw in a Lightbulb?". If the titles alone don't make you read those, then why do I even bother?
Ken Shade continues to challenge us with his brilliant "Quotes of the Day" and I'm still Blogging away in "Blogfest 2005". Check out both of those regularly, it'll give you something to talk about while you're stuck outside smoking cigarettes during your breaks at work. Here's one of Ken's gems to take us home:
"We are well aware of the male homosexual problem in this country, which is of course minor, but to our certain knowledge there is not one lesbian in England."
Lord Chamberlain, to Lillian Hellman, during a discussion of "The Children's Hour."
And that, my fellow perfect faulkers, is the Faulking Truth.
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