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Featured Column: This guy walks into a bar and says... - Jun 25, 2008
- Just Keep Your Mouth Shut
by Ken Shade
When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I carefully considered my options and decided to be an idiot. I talked it over with my late wife, pondered, meditated, prayed, and then settled on the stupidest possible course of action, short of bee sting therapy. (Yes, there are people who believe that allowing bees to sting you is an effective treatment for MS. - No, I'm not kidding.) The actions I attempted to take might not have been foolish for somebody else. In fact, I know people for whom this plan works. It was dumb because it just isn't me.
You see, when you have an illness which is never going to go away, and which will probably affect the lives of those around you, you have choices to make about how you're going to identify yourself. Some people like to keep their illness to themselves as long as they possibly can. Some people tell everybody they know.
I tried to do the former, but I'm a latter type of guy.
I told my late wife that I didn't want to be identified by my illness or disability. I supposed it would be easy to simply pretend it wasn't there and not mention it until I was ready to become a professional Stephen Hawking impersonator. I was thick-headedly missing two facts. One, that it was pretty obvious looking at me that something was wrong. Two, I am not a secret keeper. I tell all kinds of personal things about myself and worry about the consequences later. My resolve to be a secret sufferer lasted about two hours. I went to a convenience store where people looked at me strangely when they saw me walk. I felt compelled to explain, so they wouldn't think I was drunk.
From that moment on, I was "out."
There are advantages to being "out," regardless of the nature of one's problem.
I used to date a woman who was blind. Like most people with that problem, she felt compelled to describe herself as "legally blind." I don't understand that. What does legality have to do with it? It sounds to me like they are apologizing for being able to see light or large shapes, but still trying to get the point across that they'd be in trouble without some help.... more
Featured Column:
George Carlin passed away yesterday at the age of 71. While most publications are eulogizing him for his plays on words (who doesn't remember his "seven words you can't say on television" routine?), he was one of the most politically aware humorists who ever lived. In January of 2007, I posted a portion of a routine from his HBO special, which was ironically titled "Life is Worth Losing." Carlin's words, reposted in "You and I are not in the Big Club," summed up what many of us had been saying for years. |
Featured Column:
(Editor's note: This is a piece I originally posted at www.myspace.com/faulkingtruth I guess it's one of those necessary cleansing of the soul type things. We all need that now and then, even if exposing our inner emotions leaves us feeling a little vulnerable, and yes, pathetic. For the most part, I'm a highly functional motivated automaton, but sometimes the residue from traumas past finds its way to the surface and stains my psyche. The good news is, it's a month later and I'm working towards cleaning out my closet. So it goes.) |
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Blogfest 2005 - Jun 30, 2008 This is me in fragments...enter at your own risk by Mark Faulk This morning, they delivered the first actual, physical, hold-it-my-hand copy of my book to me. It could have…should have…been one of the finest moments of my life, the culmination of years of work, of (to plummet into the abyss of tired clichés)... more |
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Commentary - Jun 17, 2008 Do the Can-Can by Robin Buckallew At first, it was just like any other presidential election. The Alpha and Omega parties began campaigning early, and the buzz was on... more |
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Global Warning - Jun 16, 2008 For the Benefit of Mr. Kite by Robin Buckallew For the last couple of years, ever since Al Gore’s movie was released, I have been witness to an endless array of dog-and-pony shows in cities and towns around the nation, each one designed to bewitch, bother, and bewilder... more |
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Investing 101 - Apr 8, 2008 Better Late Than Never…SEC Files Charges in CMKX Case by Mark Faulk Although thousands of CMKX shareholders were jubilant over the news, for many it seemed to be a case of too little, too late, and raised many questions about who wasn’t charged and why it has taken the SEC so long to bring charges in this case... more |
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This guy walks into a bar and says... - Jun 25, 2008 Just Keep Your Mouth Shut by Ken Shade When I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, I carefully considered my options and decided to be an idiot. I talked it over with my late wife, pondered, meditated, prayed, and then settled on the stupidest possible course of action, short of... more |